“Strengthened in the Wilderness”
When we come to this Gospel on the First Sunday of Lent, I’m usually drawn to the three temptations. I can identify with them. Maybe some of you can as well.This Lent I’ve enjoyed reading contemplative writer Richard Rohr’s meditations on the temptations from his book, Radical Grace. He says the first one, where the devil dares Jesus to turn stone into bread, is about our temptation to be immediately impressive, effective, and successful. It’s about our desire to make things happen—Right now! It makes us look good! Jesus didn’t buy into it.
The second temptation dares Jesus to throw himself down from the pinnacle of the Temple. Rohr says this temptation is to think of ourselves as saved, superior to others, religiously elite somehow. In this one, the devil tempts Jesus by quoting scripture to him. However, the devil is using scripture for his own purposes. He’s “against God, in the name of God.” Rohr says the devil’s really loving himself in the guise of loving God. Jesus won’t buy this either.
And the third temptation is when the devil tries to bully Jesus into bowing down before the power systems of this world. Again, Jesus refuses. He will worship and serve God alone.
These are the things I usually think about and preach about on this first Sunday of Lent. It’s good for us, especially in Lent, to think about the things that tempt us.About how vulnerable we are to all kinds of temptations. About how temptations come to us masquerading as good things. About how cunning, baffling, and powerful temptations are.
But this Lent, as a result of our Lectionary study Tuesday night, I got to thinking about a different aspect of today’s story. About how Jesus, who was no doubt very weak physically from fasting and from being in the wilderness for 40 days, rose to the occasion of sparing with the devil with the most incredible, supple, spiritual strength. Although the devil bullied him, he didn’t bully back. He didn’t cave. He didn’t strike back. He simply, non-anxiously, quoted God’s word to the devil. Although Divine, Jesus was also fully human. So where did he find the inner strength…and not just once or twice but three times… when the devil assaulted him? Jesus was sorely tempted and yet strong…so strong! What is the strength Jesus found from fasting in the wilderness?
Remember the wilderness is a desolate place. It’s a place away from all we are familiar with and know: Away from creature comforts. Away from some of the various “props” we may use in our lives to help us feel worthy and secure in our identities: Our titles, roles, uniforms, houses, cars, church buildings, tools, work, and routines—even our friends & families. In the wilderness ALL THAT’S GONE.
In the wilderness there is SILENCE…deafening silence. It’s a place to confront the voices inside our heads. It’s a place to wrestle with temptation. It’s a place to learn to really listen, and it’s a place to hear God’s voice. In the wilderness there is real physical & spiritual danger because we’re unprotected from the elements, from wild creatures, from the committees that meet in our heads, from the voice of the devil. (‘Not sure about any difference between the last two!)
Then add to that fasting. In Jesus’ case, he took in no food or water over an extended time. That eventually makes the body weak. So while Jesus is so weak, the devil takes advantage and tempts him. But Jesus calmly rebukes the devil. He does it simply…with God’s word. I want a faith like that. I want an inner strength like that. I imagine all of us here would wish for that as well.
So this Lent, I encourage us to go to the wilderness. Go to a place without our “props.” A place that’s silent. A place where we are vulnerable. Perhaps we might consider fasting or at least not eating so much, or doing so much, or talking so much. It is in that wilderness place where God will have a chance to come to us. And be with us. And give us God’s word. So that we too are strong…so strong.
Amen.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
Rockin’ the Rain Suit – from Jake Pinkston on teaching mission in Honduras
I know I love to talk about the rain in Honduras, but it continues to amaze and confuse me. I have to say that I have not quite figured out the rainy season here, and it doesn’t seem that anyone else has either. Depending on who you ask, it includes all or some of the months of December through February, but it really depends on a given week. Last week was a rainy week: five straight days of consistent drizzle with intermittent down pours. Since my umbrella “disappeared” a few months back, I usually brave the elements in the rain suit that I brought on the Appalachian Trail with my Dad a few summers back (I don’t recall ever bothering to use it…). My students think I look absolutely ridiculous but I have never been one for fashion sense anyways. I have pretty much come to terms with the fact that I will never blend in here, but at least I will keep my pants dry.
Rainy days are tough at Trinity. Rainy weeks are down right crazy. The roofs are leaky, so you have to dodge buckets strategically place throughout the school. The pinging of water off metal or composite materials becomes almost deafening in the classrooms and I have to resort to sign language and diagrams on the board to keep the class on track. To keep the kids near the windows dry, we usually close them. However, this cuts off the main ventilation source, so it gets really stuffy. The drainage in the center of the school fills up with silt so much of the play area becomes a lake. All this translates into inattentive, uncomfortable students with no where to vent their pent up energy. Everybody was happy when the final bell rang on Friday.
The nasty weather finally broke on Saturday, and it was an eventful day. My sink fixture got replaced after it started dripping down below and slowly flooding my apartment; a good excuse for some Friday evening mopping action. I am so lucky to have such an excellent landlord. Peter lives on the first floor of the building and the four apartments are on the second floor. I told him about the problem on Friday night and he had guys working on it by 10am the next morning and done by 11. They even siliconed the sink in the bathroom that was also leaking. What service!
I don’t think I have mentioned my landlord yet in the blog. Peter is an expatriate whose wife is Honduran. He moved down here with his family from San Diego, built this house / apartment complex, and continues to practice international law via his computer. He also plays music gigs at a couple local restaurants on the weekends. In one of those small world moments, I found out a couple weeks ago that his sister and mother live in a quaint town in the southern Berkshires. You may have heard of it… Great Barrington!?
After resolving the sink ordeal, I got to get outside and enjoy the sunshine. Javier rode over on his motorcycle and we took an hour and a half ride up into the Nombre de Dios Mountains, following the Cangrejal River. It was a bumpy ride, as the rain had washed out a couple sections of the road but there was almost no traffic, which kept the dust out of our eyes. The Congrejal river is only 20 km long but moves a lot of water and there is a rafting company that runs the rapids. There are also a couple small communities that are developing an ecotourism economy. The water was running high from the rain and the 70 foot waterfall was spectacular. Great day to get out of the city.
It was actually the second time I had been in the Cangrajal area. When I was in La Ceiba with the Colorado team last, I joined them on their first ever field trip. A local NGO took them on guided educational tours through the Pico Bonito National Forest and over some questionable bridges. I am looking to do a similar trip to another part of the forest in April.
My fun Saturday did not end there. I got a call from the organist, Nelson, who plays in a local rock band called the no names. He didn’t give me many details besides that he was playing in a concert and they were going on soon. Or at least that is what I thought I heard. So I grabbed a t-shirt and hopped in a cab. I knew I missed something when I noticed that every single person waiting outside to get into the concert was wearing black t-shirts, black jeans, and combat boots. Apparently, this was the first ever La Ceiba Metal Fest, being held to benefit a local charity that works with disabled children at the Lions International Club. I was wearing a Ben Folds T-Shirt, who if you are not familiar, is a piano player who could be considered the antithesis of the hard rock genre (you can hear both the lyrics and the notes). Undeterred, I bought a ticket and went in.
The venue was a bit oversized for the crowd in attendance, but Nelson’s band was the local opening act and I think the harder core rockers made a later entrance. It was one of the bands first acts so the performance was a little rough around the edges but they put on a good set. The crowd particularly liked their Pink Floyd and Metallica covers and who could not love Knockin’ On Heavens Door, Guns n’ Roses style blasting at 300 decibels (the guitar player nailed the solo). Good fun. We headed off for snacks in the park afterwards, preferring to avoid the ear splitting dissonant growling that was to follow. So all in all, it was a fun filled Saturday and although once again I failed to pass muster for Honduran dress code, I was just happy not to be soaking wet.
Rainy days are tough at Trinity. Rainy weeks are down right crazy. The roofs are leaky, so you have to dodge buckets strategically place throughout the school. The pinging of water off metal or composite materials becomes almost deafening in the classrooms and I have to resort to sign language and diagrams on the board to keep the class on track. To keep the kids near the windows dry, we usually close them. However, this cuts off the main ventilation source, so it gets really stuffy. The drainage in the center of the school fills up with silt so much of the play area becomes a lake. All this translates into inattentive, uncomfortable students with no where to vent their pent up energy. Everybody was happy when the final bell rang on Friday.
The nasty weather finally broke on Saturday, and it was an eventful day. My sink fixture got replaced after it started dripping down below and slowly flooding my apartment; a good excuse for some Friday evening mopping action. I am so lucky to have such an excellent landlord. Peter lives on the first floor of the building and the four apartments are on the second floor. I told him about the problem on Friday night and he had guys working on it by 10am the next morning and done by 11. They even siliconed the sink in the bathroom that was also leaking. What service!
I don’t think I have mentioned my landlord yet in the blog. Peter is an expatriate whose wife is Honduran. He moved down here with his family from San Diego, built this house / apartment complex, and continues to practice international law via his computer. He also plays music gigs at a couple local restaurants on the weekends. In one of those small world moments, I found out a couple weeks ago that his sister and mother live in a quaint town in the southern Berkshires. You may have heard of it… Great Barrington!?
After resolving the sink ordeal, I got to get outside and enjoy the sunshine. Javier rode over on his motorcycle and we took an hour and a half ride up into the Nombre de Dios Mountains, following the Cangrejal River. It was a bumpy ride, as the rain had washed out a couple sections of the road but there was almost no traffic, which kept the dust out of our eyes. The Congrejal river is only 20 km long but moves a lot of water and there is a rafting company that runs the rapids. There are also a couple small communities that are developing an ecotourism economy. The water was running high from the rain and the 70 foot waterfall was spectacular. Great day to get out of the city.
It was actually the second time I had been in the Cangrajal area. When I was in La Ceiba with the Colorado team last, I joined them on their first ever field trip. A local NGO took them on guided educational tours through the Pico Bonito National Forest and over some questionable bridges. I am looking to do a similar trip to another part of the forest in April.
My fun Saturday did not end there. I got a call from the organist, Nelson, who plays in a local rock band called the no names. He didn’t give me many details besides that he was playing in a concert and they were going on soon. Or at least that is what I thought I heard. So I grabbed a t-shirt and hopped in a cab. I knew I missed something when I noticed that every single person waiting outside to get into the concert was wearing black t-shirts, black jeans, and combat boots. Apparently, this was the first ever La Ceiba Metal Fest, being held to benefit a local charity that works with disabled children at the Lions International Club. I was wearing a Ben Folds T-Shirt, who if you are not familiar, is a piano player who could be considered the antithesis of the hard rock genre (you can hear both the lyrics and the notes). Undeterred, I bought a ticket and went in.
The venue was a bit oversized for the crowd in attendance, but Nelson’s band was the local opening act and I think the harder core rockers made a later entrance. It was one of the bands first acts so the performance was a little rough around the edges but they put on a good set. The crowd particularly liked their Pink Floyd and Metallica covers and who could not love Knockin’ On Heavens Door, Guns n’ Roses style blasting at 300 decibels (the guitar player nailed the solo). Good fun. We headed off for snacks in the park afterwards, preferring to avoid the ear splitting dissonant growling that was to follow. So all in all, it was a fun filled Saturday and although once again I failed to pass muster for Honduran dress code, I was just happy not to be soaking wet.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Back in Action – From Jake Pinkston on teaching mission in Honduras
I want to begin by apologizing for my long hiatus from the blogosphere. While it is easy to say it has been a busy, difficult month, I realize that I should be writing more frequently. I need to do a better job of keeping all of you up to date with my happenings, even when they aren't as successful as I want them to be. I will do better.
The first month of the third term has been extremely challenging for me. It seems like everyone at Trinity here is hitting a wall of sorts. The spark that comes with the beginning of the school year has faded. There is another month before the next break. People are feeling fatigued and many are missing school due to illness. Students and staff are both feeling a bit burned out. The course material has been challenging and everyday has felt like a battle just to keep moving forward. Instead of rising to the challenge, many of the students have fallen back onto old habits, which has been frustrating and draining. It has been hard to keep up the energy and enthusiasm. Often times I feel like a broken record, pleading for the students to come to class prepared and stay engaged in the subject matter. Grades have slipped substantially and I am having trouble inspiring the quality of work that I was getting before the Christmas break. I have caught 6 students cheating in some form or another in my class, which has been disappointing and disheartening. It feels like many days we are taking more steps backwards than forwards.
I have had a lot of support from the administration and have used these trials to reevaluate my teaching style and expectations. I have been trying to mix up my lessons to make the material a little more interesting and tried some new assignments to give the students new ways to learn and perform. This has had mixed results. Some continue to be stubbornly apathetic but there are many who are beginning to take more initiative. I have more students than ever staying after school for extra help and guidance. Although it has often been coerced, the results have been encouraging.
My biggest focus for improvement has been communication with the students. I have a tendency to forget that while my sole focus is teaching, the hormone-crazed teenagers I am working with have other things on their mind than the formula for respiration. The best part about working in such a small school is the opportunities for one on one time with the students. I have been trying to build stronger relationships with the students to try to find ways to motivate and help them succeed. While this has made the failures difficult, it has made the victories equally as sweet. When I see students solving a problem they have never seen before light up when they realize they know how to do it, when a group proudly shows me the progress they have made on their science fair project, when a student who has failed the last two pop quizzes smiles as he turns in his chapter test with every question answered: that’s where I draw my strength. That’s when I realize why I am here and why it is all worth it.
I have been thinking and praying on my role at Trinity this year and in the future the last few months. As I submitted for the annual meeting, I am well below my projected budget for the year. Though my mother thinks I look too skinny (she is sending vitamins), I am living quite comfortably here in La Ceiba and really love being a teacher. I have never taken a job more seriously or worked as hard as I have these last few months because I know I am not just working for me but working for all of you who have supported me on this journey.
Although it has not been easy, I can see how far Trinity has come in the past few years. Only a few years ago, the school was in dire financial straights, its enrollment dwindling and its level of education below standard. Through the vision of Veronica, Mike, and Betty, the contributions of mission teams from Texas, Colorado, and Pennsylvania, and a committed staff, we have become the rising star among bilingual schools in La Ceiba as well as across the Episcopal Diocese. I am proud to be a part of that renewal, even though I have only been here the last seven months.
It is far from over though. The next few years will be a test as to whether we can continue this upward momentum. Mike and Betty, who have devoted the first three years of their retirement to jumpstarting the secondary school, are wrapping up their time as teachers at Trinity. At the end of the year, they will return to the United States. Their plan is to continue to aid in the development of the school by raising funds and advising the newly formed board of directors, but also be grandparents. Others will have to step up.
I would like to formally ask the support of the Congregation of St. James that I might continue my mission work for another year at Trinity Episcopal School. I believe that with another year, I could solidify the secondary science program, develop a long term curriculum, and sustain the academic rigor that has begun to define the school. I also feel that my presence would help create a continuity of programming and purpose as more leadership roles are taken on by Honduran staff members. Next year, Trinity will graduate its first secondary class and I want to be there to congratulate each one of those students as they cross the stage and receive their diplomas.
I know that many of you have made significant contributions to send me to La Ceiba, and this was initially intended to be a single year mission. I can’t begin to express my gratitude for your generosity. This experience has been the most inspirational and life changing endeavor I have pursued. I am truly blessed. However, I feel like my work here is not yet finished. While I would gladly return the surplus funds to St. James at the end of the year or donate them to worthy projects at Trinity, I believe that my continued presence is the best investment I can make for my students. I could not have come this far without St. James, and I hope that you will continue to support me in the future.
The first month of the third term has been extremely challenging for me. It seems like everyone at Trinity here is hitting a wall of sorts. The spark that comes with the beginning of the school year has faded. There is another month before the next break. People are feeling fatigued and many are missing school due to illness. Students and staff are both feeling a bit burned out. The course material has been challenging and everyday has felt like a battle just to keep moving forward. Instead of rising to the challenge, many of the students have fallen back onto old habits, which has been frustrating and draining. It has been hard to keep up the energy and enthusiasm. Often times I feel like a broken record, pleading for the students to come to class prepared and stay engaged in the subject matter. Grades have slipped substantially and I am having trouble inspiring the quality of work that I was getting before the Christmas break. I have caught 6 students cheating in some form or another in my class, which has been disappointing and disheartening. It feels like many days we are taking more steps backwards than forwards.
I have had a lot of support from the administration and have used these trials to reevaluate my teaching style and expectations. I have been trying to mix up my lessons to make the material a little more interesting and tried some new assignments to give the students new ways to learn and perform. This has had mixed results. Some continue to be stubbornly apathetic but there are many who are beginning to take more initiative. I have more students than ever staying after school for extra help and guidance. Although it has often been coerced, the results have been encouraging.
My biggest focus for improvement has been communication with the students. I have a tendency to forget that while my sole focus is teaching, the hormone-crazed teenagers I am working with have other things on their mind than the formula for respiration. The best part about working in such a small school is the opportunities for one on one time with the students. I have been trying to build stronger relationships with the students to try to find ways to motivate and help them succeed. While this has made the failures difficult, it has made the victories equally as sweet. When I see students solving a problem they have never seen before light up when they realize they know how to do it, when a group proudly shows me the progress they have made on their science fair project, when a student who has failed the last two pop quizzes smiles as he turns in his chapter test with every question answered: that’s where I draw my strength. That’s when I realize why I am here and why it is all worth it.
I have been thinking and praying on my role at Trinity this year and in the future the last few months. As I submitted for the annual meeting, I am well below my projected budget for the year. Though my mother thinks I look too skinny (she is sending vitamins), I am living quite comfortably here in La Ceiba and really love being a teacher. I have never taken a job more seriously or worked as hard as I have these last few months because I know I am not just working for me but working for all of you who have supported me on this journey.
Although it has not been easy, I can see how far Trinity has come in the past few years. Only a few years ago, the school was in dire financial straights, its enrollment dwindling and its level of education below standard. Through the vision of Veronica, Mike, and Betty, the contributions of mission teams from Texas, Colorado, and Pennsylvania, and a committed staff, we have become the rising star among bilingual schools in La Ceiba as well as across the Episcopal Diocese. I am proud to be a part of that renewal, even though I have only been here the last seven months.
It is far from over though. The next few years will be a test as to whether we can continue this upward momentum. Mike and Betty, who have devoted the first three years of their retirement to jumpstarting the secondary school, are wrapping up their time as teachers at Trinity. At the end of the year, they will return to the United States. Their plan is to continue to aid in the development of the school by raising funds and advising the newly formed board of directors, but also be grandparents. Others will have to step up.
I would like to formally ask the support of the Congregation of St. James that I might continue my mission work for another year at Trinity Episcopal School. I believe that with another year, I could solidify the secondary science program, develop a long term curriculum, and sustain the academic rigor that has begun to define the school. I also feel that my presence would help create a continuity of programming and purpose as more leadership roles are taken on by Honduran staff members. Next year, Trinity will graduate its first secondary class and I want to be there to congratulate each one of those students as they cross the stage and receive their diplomas.
I know that many of you have made significant contributions to send me to La Ceiba, and this was initially intended to be a single year mission. I can’t begin to express my gratitude for your generosity. This experience has been the most inspirational and life changing endeavor I have pursued. I am truly blessed. However, I feel like my work here is not yet finished. While I would gladly return the surplus funds to St. James at the end of the year or donate them to worthy projects at Trinity, I believe that my continued presence is the best investment I can make for my students. I could not have come this far without St. James, and I hope that you will continue to support me in the future.
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