by the Rev. Frances A. Hills, Rector
‘Just had a vacation that was not at all what I’d imagined, but it was exactly what I needed! Due to an unexpected death in Amarillo, a friend’s severely pulled ankle ligament in Santa Fe, and the 105-degree days in Missouri, I basically RESTED for two whole weeks! Not that the death, hurt ankle, or high heat were directly caused by God, but the opportunity to rest was truly a God-send. I had left here two weeks ago totally exhausted; and if things had gone more according to my plans, I would have spent much more time running around doing things and NOT really resting. It made me aware of how dependent I am on God to give me what I really need. This was the lesson I think Jacob learned as he wrestled with God.
In his rivalry with his brother Esau, Jacob discovered his quest for earthly security had got him exactly a big sense of Emptiness. And he learned that his manipulation, deceit, and striving had got him exactly Nowhere. He learned that the blessing from God that he ultimately wanted/needed could not be won by any deed, contest, or scheme. He was simply dependent, entirely dependent, on God’s grace for God’s blessing, which was the one thing he really needed. It was the most important lesson of Jacob’s life, but it came with a cost: He was marked for the rest of his life with a limp. And from then on, Jacob was known as “Israel”, which means “Perseverer with God”.
Now I think this theme of Dependence on God continues in the Romans passage. Paul is obviously proud of his Jewish heritage: He reminds us God gave the Hebrews eight especially wonderful things: Adoption. Glory. The Covenants. The Law. Worship. Promises. Patriarchs. And the hope of a Messiah from their line. But proud as he is of his heritage, Paul deeply laments that his people, the Jews, have not widely accepted Jesus as the Messiah. This brings Paul anguish. It’s the most upsetting conundrum of his life: In spite of their rich tradition and long association with God as God’s beloved Chosen Ones, the Jews of his day, by and large, are unable to hear the Good News of Jesus. They do not think Jesus is the Messiah they’d been hoping for. Paul is so distraught about this, he’s even willing to sacrifice his own salvation for that of his people—the Jews.
Well, obviously, Paul could not make this happen. God was going to have to work it out with the Hebrews in God’s good way and time. Paul was going to have to just let it go. Paul had to become totally dependent on God’s grace and mercy and trust that God would work out salvation for the Jews in God’s own generous way. Meanwhile Paul was called to continue his work as Apostle to the Gentiles. (The ideas in the section were taken from The Story of Romans: A Narrative Defense of God’s Righteousness by A. Katherine Grieb.) So we can see from our first two scriptures we are totally dependent on God for God’s blessing and for salvation. We don’t cause these to happen.
And we see this again in the Matthew gospel. The huge crowd is hungry. The disciples assume they need to go home to eat, but Jesus has a different idea. He asks the disciples to “give them something to eat”. They know right away this is impossible. They discover they have only five loaves and two fish. They take them to Jesus, probably hoping he’ll come to his senses and see they must send the crowd home. But Jesus takes their loaves and fishes. Blesses them. Breaks them. Gives them back to the disciples to distribute. Over 5,000 people were fed. There were 12 baskets of leftovers!
Now in and of themselves, the disciples were right. They could not have fed this crowd with their five loaves and two fish. They were totally dependent on Jesus to take what they had, and bless and break it so that it would be enough. (Much more than enough!) The disciples’ job was to take what they had to Jesus and to distribute what Jesus gave them.
As the people of St. James and St. George today, I think we really need to hear these scriptures. Our congregations, separately and together, have done a lot to put ourselves in a position to receive God’s blessing. Like Jacob, we have persevered, and we are already blessed in many ways. But any further blessing we receive, and the ultimate blessing we need, will come totally through God’s grace. The future of our congregations and the future of those we serve are in God’s hands. We are totally dependent on God. That doesn’t mean we won’t work hard and do our part,
But ultimately it’s about the future God wants for us. Likewise, any deep questions and concerns we have about why God works or doesn’t work the way we think God should…We’ll just have to let go of and, like St. Paul, give them over to God’s salvific care. Meanwhile we will continue on the path we’re given, knowing God can do more than we can ask for or imagine. And when we come to times when it seems like there’s just not enough—not enough people, money, energy, spirit, generosity, courage, vision, faith, compassion, or not enough love—let’s remember our dependence on God alone. Let’s remember to give what we have, as little as it may seem, to the God who will gladly take it, bless it, break it, and give it back so that there will be plenty for all…and more.
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